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Lieferstatus:	i.d.R. innert 7-14 Tagen versandfertig
Veröffentlichung:	September 2021
Genre:	Ratgeber
ISBN:	9780578988306
EAN-Code:	9780578988306
Verlag:	Bartrolomew McInncel
Einband:	Kartoniert
Sprache:	English
Dimensionen:	H 229 mm / B 152 mm / D 48 mm
Gewicht:	1307 gr
Seiten:	820
Zus. Info:	Paperback
Bewertung:	Titel bewerten / Meinung schreiben

Inhalt:

My cheapskate girlfriend got us a "discount" couple's massage and we had to go to this weird man and woman's house who looked like the two bad guys from Home Alone. The short guy did my massage. He had like 58 times more oil than was necessary on his hands and they were like grotesquely soft. So, when he did your massage it just felt like someone was squishing mashed potatoes and gravy all over you. It was freakin' disgusting. And he kept cracking his disgusting knuckles on me the whole time... as if it was adding some sensual element to the experience. But it just felt like some school lunch pizza wrapped around a bunch of carrots breaking. It was sickening. But I didn't want to disappoint my girlfriend. So, I just laid their face down in that slop. Oh, and of course they were playing some weird silence of the lambs music. So, I was just lying there listening to that, trying not to inhale their incense... that smelled like a bunch of amputated civil war feet on fire. Oh yeah. They made us sign this waiver that we understood it wasn't an "erogenous" experience. So, my girlfriend just signed it and drew a sad frowny face. :( Awww... Shucks. We were hoping Harry and Marv would be down for some role play. I could play that old guy at the end of the movie who smashes'm in the face with a snow shovel. "Come 'ere, you naughty bandits..." Oh, sht, I'm supposed to be telling you about this book. Uhhhh... okay. Arlight. So. This is the official Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker's Guide to Humanity. And the universe hath decreed forthwith that one of the most ridiculous people on the planet should bequeath to you the original story of humanity's origins. And here's a clue. Every single animal is psychologically tailored to be absolutely in love with its natural home environment. There's a reason why people fall so madly in love with places like Hawaii when they go there. And once we understand where our species came from, then we can finally also solve the human condition. We can become smarter, faster, stronger, healthier, more youthful, more vibrant, longer living, emotionally blissful, psychologically harmonized, romantically successful, and so much more. But you'll never know unless you read the book... So, you better! ... or else. Or else I'll tell Harry and Marv where to find you.