Bad habits, bad attitudes, bad breath. With a weakness for bad outfits and having bad hair days. Dogs are no less bad than cats, so it was only a matter of time before, emboldened by the runaway success of Bad Cat, the #1 New York Times bestseller with 487,000 copies in print, dogs would be begging for the chance to speak out. Dogs like:

Trixie, the puppy eating her own foot, who says: “If you’re wondering, it tastes like chicken.” Or the aging Sam, eyes popping out of his head and granny glasses askew: “Sweet mother of mercy—the Viagra’s working!” Or Tasia, a big mutt forced to wear little Santa hats, who snarls: “I’d like to roast your chestnuts on an open fire.” There’s Dallas the surly yoga instructor. The old letch Samson, half-mastiff and half-slobber. Barley of the Order of the Vested Shih Tzus. Devil-worshipping Penny. Friend of sailors Miz Skeeter Bug. And Charlie, whose words should be heeded by every owner who thinks it’s cute to dress up the family pet: “Listen to me! I am not a bird. I am not a plane. I’m just your dog, Charlie.” In the same format as Bad Cat, with 244 truly funny photographs (including a number of group portraits), plus name, age, hobby, and candid quote.